Tonight, Tonight

A lot has happened since my last post. Dozens of entire television shows have come and gone, running the gamut from crib deaths and abortions, to Alzheimer's sufferers succumbing to the ravages of old age, to suicides hoping to leave a good-looking corpse (and occasionally succeeding). Some, however, turn into zombies.

I'm talking of course about The Tonight Show. In June of last year, Leno passed the much-anticipated torch to Conan, hibernated for the summer, and emerged as the predictably stodgy, flaccid, and milquetoast The Jay Leno Show in the fall. A several-month ratings slump and a Winter Olympics later, and Leno was once again at the helm of the Tonight Show franchise, with Conan $33 million richer. Conan, despite losing office, still walked away with the popular vote.

As an aside, in the interest of full disclosure I'm happy to admit that in terms of the popular (albeit romantic) argument, I was on Team Coco. Not that I would go out of my way to watch Conan, but if I was home, and wasn't watching anything in particular, and he was on, I would sometimes watch. As opposed to Leno, whom I could not, and cannot, stand. But to say I had any kind of actual emotional investment in the proceedings would be an exaggeration. I certainly don't mean to sound like the most fervent of viewers. But I digress.

In short, NBC let go of Conan because of low ratings. We get it, television networks are not philanthropic organizations. However, the delicious irony here is that half a year after taking back the crown, Leno's ratings have dipped lower than Conan's ever did. In fact, according to a recent Nielsen report, Leno's ratings have dipped lower than any Tonight Show ratings ever. That's not a dip, that's a belly flop. With Conan poised to re-enter the late night fray in just two months from now, it's only going to get worse for Leno, and that belly flop may very well turn out to be a suicide leap.

Good things zombies are already dead.